Faster and Furiouser, the Sequel

[neildarkstar]

(PARODY)

News Flash:
KNUTZ radio has just learned large numbers of federal agents have been seriously wounded or worse during the undercover investigation and subsequent arrest of the members of a local militia who were accused of drinking 64oz sodas while watching Monday Night Raw.


Details remain unclear, but apparently undercover members of the FBI posing as members of the militia tried to arrest undercover agents of the NSA who were also posing as militia members. A firefight ensued, with several casualties, causing a contingent of undercover ATF agents (also undercover and posing as militia) to open up with sniper fire from nearby woods. The entire operation was being watched by the CIA, who fired on all parties involved with weapons mounted on unarmed predator drones which were reserved to conduct illegal domestic operations..

As all surviving members of the conflict tried to flee the area, they were turned back by large numbers of TSA agents at hastily established TSA checkpoints. The frustrated fleeing agents opened fire on the TSA checkpoints, with the result that Chicago was invaded by two battalions of UN peacekeepers. The peacekeepers were unfortunately wiped out to a man by three members of a street gang armed with automatic weapons and shoes made by Nike. It appears the original conflict was nowhere near Chicago... The loss of the peacekeepers resulted in a bill sponsored by Senator Dianne Feinstein banning the sale of Nike shoes to anyone carrying automatic weapons. The bill would also ban the sale of any shoe having more than seven eyes, listing them as "assault sneakers".

As more information has come in, it is now clear that there were no actual militia members in the area (nor had there ever been) who were not federal agents, and all arms used in the conflict were provided by the ATF in an operation dubbed "Faster and Furiouser, the Sequel".
Stay tuned to KNUTZ radio for regular updates. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

[Jac]

Sounds like our government alright.

[DARoot]

"Parody" ??
Huh.
I found it believable...

DARoot

[neildarkstar]

"Parody" ??
Huh.
I found it believable...

DARoot

I'll take that as a compliment... The best fiction always sounds like truth, eh?